Baseball Mockery


As the dreaded off season continues, talks have begun about eliminating the shift thanks to the baseball commissioner Rob Manfred. The reasoning lies in creating more offense so baseball can be more attractive to more people. Yes ladies and gentlemen, a pitching dual where every pitch matters is no longer entertaining enough.

With these discussions, baseball is now leaning towards the play of the offense. That sounds fairly familiar. What other sports favor the offense? That’s it, the NFL. Looks as though Rob Manfred might need to take a meeting with the NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to see how far baseball can go in favoring the offense.

Eliminating the shift is erasing all defensive strategy, so where do they stop. Strategy is the beauty of baseball, it’s chess not whack a mole. So here are additional rule changes to really help the offense get the upper hand.

X marks the spot- I think we need to go back to the roots of every baseball player. MLB needs to get in touch with the little league coach in themselves and create X’s on where each infielder must stand in the field. Even shading so slightly to get a head start is just too much of an advantage.

No sprinting, just jogging- Having fast outfielders like Lorenzo Cain is just too much of a “step up” for the defense. No more sprinting to a ball because outfielders may rob a double that could produce more runs for the offense.

All starting pitchers must go at least 6 innings before using a bullpen pitcher- That’s right, discount what the Brewers did in 2018. Changing the pitcher every couple of innings is too hard for the hitters because they can’t get multiple looks at a pitcher. Dang players can’t adjust!

No bullpen days- Piggybacking off the last rule, bullpen games will not be allowed. Discounting again what the Brewers used to be successful in 2018.

Don’t forget players safety, no pitches over 90 mph- We can’t forget about the gem in players safety. Pitching over 90 mph puts the batter at extreme risk of getting severely injured if they get hit. Any pitch over 90 mph will result in an automatic walk.

Just a couple after thoughts to go along with the new rules of baseball are, shrinking the strike zone, instituting a computerized Ump instead of a human (eliminate the human error).  What about going from 3 outs an inning to 5 outs?

Obviously this is just poking fun of the discussions of limiting the shift. Although it is something that could severely hurt the Brewers. They use so much strategy every game to cover up the fact that they don’t have the money to go out and get nine studs to fill a lineup like the Yankees. As said before, the beauty in baseball is the chess game and taking the chess away to result in more offense may indeed create more offense. However, let’s be honest, will adding a couple more runs a game really increase viewership or would it just take away some of the fun of baseball for hardcore fans?


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